Let's Talk. Now Stop That.

Okay, first you walk into a room.  Then you take a look around.  Then you reflect upon yourself and the impression you made on everyone.  Then you seek shelter...behind a curtain, blending in with the couch, under a table, in the bathroom.... Why, oh why, can't you be the one who is comfortable in your own skin and can mingle with the rest of the humans?  Since you can't really 'change' your skin (well, you can tanorex yourself orange, but I don't recommend it), let's focus on your other outside bits - your clothes.

Too often, people are uncomfortable because they are painfully aware that what they are wearing is simply unsuitable to the situation - they may feel that what they draped themselves in, is not 'classy' enough, 'expensive' enough, 'pretty' enough, 'fashionable' enough, etc.  I would love to say that this is hogwash, but unfortunately the evidence available on YouTube, Facebook and your cell phone, prove that it is absolutely true.  How many times have you seen photos of yourself and wondered what sort of dizzy-pill you took that morning to cause you to dress that way?  Sometimes, it is simply the 'fashion' of the season.  Let's take a long and serious gander at those 80's fashions and be very thankful that we have grown out of those line-backer shoulder pads, over-sized muffin sleeves and Rainbow Bright inspired outfits worn by adults - just a few of the fashion crimes committed by a huge percentage of the population.

Like I said, "Be Thankful" that this has passed and you are no longer bound by those ugly rules of the 80's.  Indeed, you are now bound only by yourself.  I have mentioned in earlier posts that I Love Common Sense.  It solves a multitude of problems.  However, a lot of people throw common sense to the far ends of civilization and act like they have chicken soup for brains.  Don't have chicken soup for brains.  Grab hold of your common sense and come with me.  Sensibly, there are several fashion rules* that you should obey now - and those are the rules of: "Do Not...."  Here are a few:

Do Not....dress like a wild animal. Gals wearing wild animal print from the top of their head to the soles of their feet in cheetah, zebra, leopard, giraffe, etc. just look ridiculous.  We have all seen pictures of actresses wearing Jumpsuits covered in wild animal print - and they ALWAYS fall into the 'what were they thinking' or 'thumbs down' in the magazine reviews.  Do - Wear an animal print on one piece of clothing (and it should never be a jumpsuit), not all over your entire body.  It is pattern overload.
     ** this also applied to cute small animals: while a bracelet with little puppies on it is cute, dressing head to toe as a dalmatian is not.

Do Not....dress like a pirate.  "Argh!" you say, "I would never do that!"   However, if you are wearing head-to-toe leather OR head-to-toe denim, you fall into that category.  Yes, I know - but denim is my 'go-to' material of choice.  Okay.  I have nothing against denim - it is when you put it all over you that you have messed up.  Do - Wear a great denim jacket with a cute top and almost any bottoms - including a white full skirt - it can look really great.

Do Not....dress like a food item.  Ever!!  Do not advertise your love of any fruit, cobbler, etc. by finding all clothing items emblazoned with the food (see above paragraph).  I recently ran into a woman adorned with her fruit of choice in the form of dangling homemade earrings, matching wicker fruit purse and giant fruit embroidered sweatshirt.  She wore this to church.  Um.. Not appropriate.  The purse was great.  The earrings were okay and would have been cute as a novelty accessory.  However, throwing it all together with this huge sweatshirt, more suitable for a picnic, is food overload. 


Do Not....dress like Aluminum foil - (sorry, but I witnessed this and had to add the rule) While dining one day, a well-to-do lady in town passed me wearing a silver lame' lace top, silver long-sleeved jacket, silver skin tight pants which were tucked into silver lace up boots, giant silver belt, and of course lots of silver jewelry.  Umm.  There really were no words.  She looked laughable.  It was one of those "what was she thinking?" moments. If planes plummet from the skies because of the sun reflecting off of your outfit - change your outfit - pronto.
 
Do Not....dress like a trollop.  (Yes, I know that is an old-fashioned word - go look it up if you are uncertain about its definition.  It is pretty specific.)   This is always wrong.  Always.  If you are showing any part of your anatomy that only your spouse or doctor should see - don't go out the door.  If your pretty undies are exposed on the top or on the bottom, or on the top of your bottom - don't go out the door.  No one is going to walk up to you and tell you that you look ridiculous, but you definitely will realize something is wrong and as in the first paragraph you will look for a place to hide. Do not ever step out of your abode if there is a possibility that someone may offer you money for favors. 

There you have it.  We will stop for now and let you purge your closet of anything that falls into the above categories.  The Closet Fairy is here to make you fabulous.  You are fabulous - I know it or you wouldn't be reading this.  Take the inside fabulous that is YOU and wear it on the outside so the whole world can see.
Let me know if you need help with finding you.  That is what I do!

*All along my posts, I mention that we will review different rules every week.  So, here you go.

God bless you richly.  I know that He has blessed me!